Of Life And Birthdays (but also trauma) PT 2 of 3?

My birthday isn't here just yet, thus the assumption of a future part 3.

We pick up the balloons I bought tomorrow, and the flowers should be here tomorrow as well. Partner has assumed responsibility for balloons for my birthday dinner with friends. 

I have a Christian Dior package (their gift wrapping is exceptional) and a YSL package to open on my birthday, from myself. 

Partner gave me a gorgeous gold goat Capricorn necklace today that I'm totally in love with. My pain levels were bordering ER trip levels, thus the decision to give me that one early. Partner said it was "part one", but I don't know what else is planned/bought.

The gorgeous candle by Candier arrived today- and it smells incredible. I didn't know they had made the Forbes top 10 best luxury scented candles list, but that will be my go-to brand in the future for sure. 

It's been a hard couple of weeks leading up to all of this. The PTSD-induced anticipation of being forgotten on my birthday has been significantly worse this year than in the past. I assume it's just where I'm at in my healing journey, but my knee-jerk reaction to it being to buy myself things I love and would love to get from others honestly hasn't turned out badly thus far. It's nice to know I get to open some designer items that I'll love on the day of, and I usually take myself out shopping. 

I already have some perfumes to add to my collection coming, and a few other things. Knowing I'll have at least 4 people who genuinely want to celebrate my birthday with me at that dinner is probably the best part. I didn't take the easy way and ask my in-laws to get together so I would be certain to have someone show up. I simply reached out to the people who have consistently showed up for me and asked if they'd be interested. One had already been in my DMs reminding me she wanted an invite to any birthday celebration I might have. Considering we really have only seen one another maybe 5 times total, that felt tremendous. The reservation is for 9 people, which sounds huge to me, but one family of four, my household of three, and the very excited friend and her sister are all going to eat at my favorite restaurant, where I can eat appetizers, entrées and dessert without getting sick, just because of a random numbered birthday. This isn't a big year, it's not a multiple of ten or even five. Things always change last minute, and I know that, but even if it somehow turns into dinner for two, eight other people on this planet still wanted to do this for me. That's so much bigger than I could've imagined even a year ago. 

And, if anyone else cares, maybe I'll get lucky and they'll send me money. Crazier things have happened. 

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