Life, Thinly Veiled

Since I was very young- elementary school age, if not earlier- I felt drawn strongly to keeping my hair/head covered. I loved the photographs and occasional IRL viewing opportunities of people who veiled. 

Sikh people, Muslim hijabis, Rastafarians wearing their locs up inside a rastacap, Orthodox Jewish women in their beautiful and diverse tichels, even the nuns (who terrified me because Catholic school) in their habits- it has always been beautiful to me in a very specific way. Even people who wear head scarves for non-religious reasons, as varied as those may be, have always been of special interest to me. 

Now, knowing in no uncertain terms that I'm Autistic, I wonder how much of this fascination relates to my Autism. Since all of me is Autistic, there's no way to even begin to figure this out, of course. Maybe it's sensory issues, since I hate hair on my skin. Maybe it's some sort of special interest. My lifelong interest in paganism ties into all of this, as well. 

I've been veiling on and off, and in very different ways, since those elementary school days. The baseball cap I was obsessed with in 4th grade comes to mind. Being a girl that attached to a baseball cap is so hilariously Autistic to me in retrospect. 

The last three years, I have allowed myself to be more consistent with veiling. I have tried styles that don't appear to others as religious in nature, but fill the role my spirit tells me is necessary. 

I don't cover all of my hair, even when I'm out in public. I don't dress in a way most would consider modest. I simply am finally allowing myself to be true to myself. 

I would love to have some great spiritual relationship to point towards as the reason for all of this, a goddess, perhaps, to whom my veiling is dedicated. The one singular truth that every spirit I've worked with in my practice has pointed me towards, is simply that: To Thine Own Self Be True.