A Life of My Own

I love being on Adderall.  Not in an abuse way, it's not doing enough for me that I could relate to that. It just makes my thoughts clearer, and I can stay with one topic as long as I intend to, without the tangents.  I don't get Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or task paralysis while on it, which is a huge improvement. That alone would make it worth taking medications.  That said, it's less effective on my period, by like 50%, and it also brought it on earlier, heavier, more painful by about 50%- which is really saying something given how bad mine are- and it's been unpredictable on and off bleeding. I seriously considered going to the emergency room that first day, and would've if I didn't have multiple pain management techniques that I could use all at once.  And it's caused everything autoimmune to flare, to include those dang cold sores most recently. All my autoimmune diseases have been taking turns punching me in the metaphorical face, and I'm hopin...

I've taken Adderall three different days now, skipping two days between days two and three because of scarcity anxiety.  I'm Autistic and ADHD, formally diagnosed, which is still a stunning fact for me to consider after decades with neither supports or medication.  Taking Adderall with the Bacopa I was previously taking for ADHD brain support produced a ton of brain fog, though it didn't even come close to undoing the effects of the Adderall. Things became extremely boring, and it was very clear to me when I simply didn't want to be in a place or doing a thing anymore- something I usually struggle to identify.  Taking Adderall without caffeine or Bacopa (I frequently take Genius brand extended release caffeine, highly recommend) feels like I'm mostly watching life happen. I can act on impulses without task paralysis/executive dysfunction getting in the way, which is nearly impossible otherwise.  Beyond the medication aspect, the diagnosis alone feels like it gave me...