Life When My Head Is Spinning

October and November were disappointing months, and we lost a family member we loved dearly in November. Her presence is missed greatly, and I'm pretty sure I still haven't processed it.

Thanksgiving was a little too close to the (sarcastic:) good ol days of my childhood. While we weren't directly involved in any of it, we ultimately ended up being mediators and, now, visitation supervisors. That actually makes it sound less dramatic and horrible than it was at the time. 

December, on the other hand, has been a flurry of activity and good news. We have been extremely busy, and are in the early to mid stages of buying a home. I also received my increase in income and benefits I've alluded to, including more than a full year of backpay, and roughly doubling my monthly income. 

Everything has been moving so fast, I don't think any of this has had sufficient time to process into my brain. I keep looking at my bank account just to see the numbers still sitting there- this is, by far, the most money I've ever had in my life- roughly 8x more. I just can't quite believe it, even though I've been hoping and preparing for this for over a year. 

The lender has been ecstatic about how prepared we are, our credit scores, and how fast we're accomplishing the list of tasks. 

Today, we had a home inspection and he commented on how "chill" our dogs were- which actually made me laugh. That was totally out of character for them, but they seemed very comfortable with him being in our home. They were interested in what he was doing, and our youngest baby, who's only been with us a year now, didn't like him being out of sight of my partner, but she was grumpy about it and not at all aggressive. It was more like she was trying to figure out how to herd the "new guy" rather than correcting or warning a threat off. 

We have been told that our home doesn't seem like it has this many dogs, which really feels like a huge compliment. Four rescues have really taken some time and energy to train the anxiety out of, so them not being totally overwhelming with new people in the house is huge. 

My therapist has also now asked for my recommendations on makeup, clothing, nail artists and, today, locally owned Chinese food restaurants. I think pretty highly of her, and especially her taste, so connecting those dots today was pretty great. 

I may be a homeowner by the end of next month, and I cannot believe it. I never dreamt of living in a home this beautiful, and I'm so grateful for her. I cannot wait to really make her our own in all the ways that matter. 

I'm fairly certain I'll also end up upgrading someone's video game console and television in the next month or two, as well, if they don't do that with the share of the money I'll give them once we close on our home. 

I'm so happy and so relieved and so excited for things to come.